The 50-Percent Theory of Life

I believe in the 50-percent theory. Half the time things are better than nomp3al; the other half, they re worse. I believe life is a pendulum swing. It takes time and experience to understand what nomp3al is, and that gives me the perspective to deal with the surprises of the future.

Let’s benchmark the pamp3eters: yes, I will die. I’ve dealt with the deaths of both parents, a best friend, a beloved boss and cherished pets. Some of these deaths have been violent, before my eyes, or slow and agonizing. Bad stuff, and it belongs at the bottom of the scale.
Then there are those high points: romance and marriage to the right person; having a child and doing those Dad things like coaching my son’s baseball team, paddling around the creek in the boat while he’s swimming with the dogs, discovering his compassion so deep it manifests even in his kindness to snails, his imagination so vivid he builds a spaceship from a scattered pile of Legos.

But there is a vast meadow of life in the middle, where the bad and the good flip-flop acrobatically. This is what convinces me to believe in the 50-percent theory.
One spring I planted corn too early in a bottomland so flood-prone that neighbors laughed. I felt chagrined at the wasted effort. Summer turned brutal---the worst heat wave and drought in my lifetime. The air-conditioned died; the well went dry; the marriage ended; the job lost; the money gone. I was living lyrics from a country tune---music I loathed. Only a surging Kansas City Royals team buoyed my spirits.

Looking back on that horrible summer, I soon understood that all succeeding good things merely offset the bad. Worse than nomp3al wouldn’t last long. I am owed and savor the halcyon times. The reinvigorate me for the next nasty surprise and offer assurance that can thrive. The 50-percent theory even helps me see hope beyond my Royals’ recent slump, a field of struggling rookies sown so that some year soon we can reap an October harvest.

For that on blistering summer, the ground moisture was just right, planting early allowed pollination before heat withered the tops, and the lack of rain spared the standing corn from floods. That winter my crib overflowed with corn---fat, healthy three-to-a-stalk ears filled with kernels from heel to tip---while my neighbors’ fields yielded only brown, empty husks.
Although plantings past may have fallen below the 50-percent expectation, and they probably will again in the future, I am still sustained by the crop that flourishes during the drought. 


生活理论半对半

我信奉对半理论。生活时而无比顺畅，时而倒霉透顶。我觉得生活就像来回摆的钟摆。读懂生活的常态需要时间和阅历，而读懂它也练就了我面对未来的生活态度。

让我们确定一下好坏的标准：是的，我注定会死去。我已经经历了双亲，一位好友，一位敬爱的老板和心爱宠物的死亡。有些突如其来，近在眼前，有些却缓慢痛苦。这些都是糟糕的事情，它们属于最坏的部分。

生活中也不乏高潮：坠入爱河缔结良缘；身为人父养育幼子，诸如训练指导儿子的棒球队，当他和狗在小河中嬉戏时摇桨划船，感受他如此强烈的同情心-即使对蜗牛也善待有加，发现他如此丰富的想象力-即使用零散的乐高玩具积木也能堆出太空飞船。

但在生活最好与最坏部分之间有一片巨大的中间地带，其间各种好事坏事像耍杂技一样上下翻滚，轮番出现。这就是让我信服对半理论的原因。

有一年奏，我在一块洼地上过早地种上了玉米。那块地极易遭到水淹，所以邻居们都嘲笑我。我为浪费了精力而感到懊恼。没想到夏天更为残酷-我经历了最糟糕的热浪和干旱。空调坏了，进干了，婚姻破裂了，工作丢了，钱也没有。我正经历着某首乡村歌曲中描绘的情节，我讨厌这种音乐，只有刚出道不久的堪萨斯皇家棒球队能鼓舞我的精神。

回首那个糟糕的夏天，我很快就明白了，所有后来出现的好事只不过与坏事相互抵消。比一般情况糟糕的境遇不会延宕过久；而太平时光是我应得的，我要尽情享受，它们为我注入活力以应对下一个险情，并确保我可以兴旺发达。对半理论甚至帮助我在堪萨斯皇家棒球队最近的低潮中看到希望-这是一快艰难行进的新手们耕耘的土地，只要播种了，假以时日我们就可以收获十月的金秋。

那个夏天天气酷热，地而湿度适宜，提早播种就可以在热浪打蔫植尖之前完成授粉，同于干旱更没有爆发洪水，产在田里的玉米得以保存。因此那个冬天我的粮仓堆满了玉米-丰满，健康，一颗三穗且从头到脚都是饱满的玉米粒的玉米穗-而我的邻居们收获的只是晒黑的空壳。

尽管过去的播种可能没有达到50%的收获期望，而且将来也可能是这样，但我仍然能靠着在旱季繁茂生长的庄稼而生存下去。
